Existentialists may make bad girlfriends, too, but I have no experience in that area. However, from experience, I can say a few things about existentialist boyfriends:
1. They don't care about much of anything. This may seem obvious to the outsider, but to one who thinks she's "in love" with an existentialist, she assumes he loves her back. Unfortunately, this is usually not the case. Existentialists have about as much emotional response as Vulcans. See Albert Camus' The Stranger, for instance.
2. You can cheat on them from here to eternity, and they won't blink an eye. Some may see this as an advantage, but I see it as an example of number 1. Who wants a SO who wouldn't care if you slept in another person's bed every night? If you're particularly unlucky, you'll end up with an existentialist boyfriend who assumes that you, too, are an existentialist, and will therefore not care if he sleeps around.
3. Existentialists like to tell you about everything they do. And I mean everything. An example of a conversation (more like a monologue) with my previous boyfriend, the Existential Artist:
"I woke up at 3:02 and went to the bathroom. At 3:08, I came back, and was asleep by 3:16. At 5:36, I woke up and put the laundry in the dryer. Then I listened to The Cure
for half an hour and fell asleep again. I dreamed that I was a cute puppy, and I fell into a vat of steaming hot saurkraut. Then a big purple vulture came and rescued me. That's what inspired this painting. At 7:02, I left for work..." You get the idea.
4. And finally, existentialists are very bad at breaking up. This particular existentialist told me we weren't on the same wavelength (whatever that means) and that "we can still be friends". Ha. I hear he still rides his bike 30 miles to work every day, still doesn't bathe regularly, and still lives alone. That's okay with me. I've developed an existential attitude when it comes to existentialists...but only when it comes to existentialists. I figure, why wimp out and be an existentialist when you can go full throttle and be a nihilist? |
