I'm in one of those moods again. I walk around my house,
doing phony kung fu moves and talking to myself and asking questions. I'm
fucked up. I have problems, you see. I'm neurotic as fuck and I'm
depressed and I'm probably going to kill myself. Not true, another voice
cuts in. You've got it easy, kid. Quit whining. You're normal. Other
people have problems. Not you. You're normal. Well, comparatively. It's like
there are two me's. I'm at war with myself, my head is divided, yin yang duality,
always struggling and fighting.
No. Scratch that. Start from the beginning. Everything
you just read is bullshit.
So, what do I know? What principles do I have? What axiom
can I base my life on? Who am I? What is truth? What makes sense?
Cogito Ergo Sum. No, fuck that. Gimme a break,
Descartes. I'm talking about me. About my life. Read some
Kant and get over yourself. The shorter an aphorism is, the more false it
is.
No. Scratch that. Start from the beginning.
Everything you just read is bullshit.
Everyone has problems. They are equal. No. Everyone has
problems. Some are bigger than others. No. No one has problems. No. No.
No. Scratch that. Start from the beginning.
Everything you just read is bullshit.
So, what do I know? What principles do I have? What axiom
can I base my life on? Who am I? What is truth? What makes sense?
This is what I know. There is life. That is all.
That is everything. Life indivisible, life whole and pure and true which
encompasses all other things. You cannot define it. I do not have problems.
Other people do not have problems. I am not. Other people are not. We are
not. It is.
Nihilism? Fuck that, too. I don't believe in nothing. I
believe in everything. Nihilism is wrong. Christianity is wrong.
Atheism is wrong. Islam, Buddhism Taoism Confucianism Zen are wrong.
Capitalism is wrong. Communism is wrong. Newton is wrong. Einstein is
wrong. You are wrong and I am doubly so. We are looking at life from the wrong
end of the telescope. Don't try to turn it around, though. It will only make
things worse. Just keep walking. Knowledge is wrong. Truth is wrong. Truth
is the most wrong concept in the universe. Funny thing is, everything else is
just as bad. If you were to line everything up on an untruth scale, they
would all be at 10, and all the other numbers would fall off and trickle
away. That scale is wrong.
No. Scratch that. Start from the beginning.
Everything you just read is bullshit.
Boundaries are false. Definitions are false.
Difference is false. You are not unique. You cannot be, you don't even
exist. Except, of course, that you do, in it. We all do, but nowhere
else. You cannot take us out. If you try, you have a shadow, perception minus
truth. For what it's worth.
No. Scratch that. Start from the beginning.
Everything you just read is bullshit.
Who am I? I am Buddha. I am The Pope. I am King
Arthur. I am Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour. I am God I am the
cypress tree in the emperor's garden. I am a small tea cup. I am
JessicaPierce's hot ass. I am a Pseudo_God. It's ok, though, so are
you. Not that it matters - you are not reading this. I am a pretentious 16 year
old boy sitting at his computer. I am the immortal Sage Lao Tzu sitting
in a cave a thousand miles below the earth's surface with the wizard
Merlin, who I also am, coincidentally. I am you. I am blind, deaf,
dumb, I can sense or perceive nothing; I am one with everything. I am
enlightened.
No. Scratch that. Start from the beginning.
Everything you just read is bullshit.
There is no enlightenment. There is no joy, sorrow,
love, god, or hatred. There is just this, this one and single
thing, which is not a thing at all, this one thing which is everything, this
one thing which is not definable nor perceivable nor is it anything else. It
just is.
No. Scratch that. Start from the beginning.
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