OK, bones. Let's make you as sick as we can.
I'll start by prescribing as much cigarette smoking as possible. A lot of fatty foods
and high cholesterol foods should be consumed. Try to maintain the lowest possible state of physical
activity. All this will get you well on the road to coronary disease and possibly penile arterial insufficiency!
Sugary food can get you diabetes, so stock up on those twinkies and Cadbury Easter Creme Eggs!
Fatty foods give you hyperlipidemia which is a risk factor of arterial sclerosis. Don't forget to
throw in some genetically modified food for possible random effects. A diet of undecooked chicken and
pork will help too, with cool things like salmonella resulting. If you come up to Toronto I can point you at a street vendor who'll give you a nasty hot dog, or as we call it, botulism on a bun.
Unprotected random sex with a stranger is of course a given. And stock up on various steroids, those
can have all kinds of fascinating side effects, especially if they're meant for horses.
I recommend touching or better yet licking the metal poles in subways and streetcars.
And try to kiss or shake hands with as many small children as possible. The common cold and influenza
should be yours within hours.
Enough smoking will get you various cancers and hey, let's not forget radiation exposure.
For something more exotic, get bitten by a werewolf for a bout of lycanthropy - a gift that keeps on giving.
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