Purpose : E2 is a repository of knowledge and wisdom, but it is also a community, one with problems and conflict. A community without therapy is clearly, in our psychological opinion, destined for woe. Therefore, in order to continue its progression and evolution, and to encourage 'fitter, happier, more productive' nodal activity, a new regime of node / user psychoanalysis will be instituted (on a purely voluntary basis, of course) wherein deep issues and concerns will be described, nodes scrutinized, treatments prescribed.
Methodology : Our elite squad of trained professionals simply need a brief description of your own concerns, problems and perceptions (in a write up below) to begin evaluation and your city/location to recommend the appropriate intertextual treatment once certain difficulties have been isolated. Again, simply present (below) a short synopsis of perceived warning signs which you've observed in your own nodal behavior recently. Our teams will be dispatched within 24 hours for observation. Within 72 hours a node about you will be added here, outlining those problems and suggested reading treatments.
Frequently Asked Questions :
This sounds excellent, but why do I want to expose my problems publicly in such a venue?
- An excellent question, but given you're already a member of the E2 community, we suspect you already know the answer...
It appears to be just what I'm looking for, but how much will this cost?
- Well, as we like to say around the Clinic, node health costs and here's where you start paying...but only in thought.
What can I expect by way of treatment?
- Node Analysis(tm) is the newest, hottest most bleeding of edges in post- Freudian, post- Lacanian, post- Kristevan (post-whatever-you-like really) textual trauma treatment. Nodaholics, compulsive Chatterboxers, re/depressives, skulkers, trollers, flame baiters and hyper-textual pedants all stand to benefit from these miraculous new methodologies.
Post- Lacanian?
- Never mind.
Okay, still all good, but why do you need my location?
- Another sharp question...using the Z39.50 data exchange protocol, we can, from right here in the clinic, after the assessment period, begin selecting textual treatments specific to your case and available to you locally, if we know your general location...nothing sinister, we assure you! (*ahem*)
Alright, I guess I'm ready for the textual cure!
- Excellent! Let the healing begin!
Subject: Case Status:
Deborah909 Exam denied by Legal/ethnomethodologist Dept.
Metaphysical Disclaimer: The E2 Clinic of Nodal Psychoanalytic Evaluation & Textual Therapy cannot in anyway accept cases from Godhead noders, on the basis of the dangers inherent in the examining and scrutiny of Deity-beings of any kind. We are, after all scientists, not priests. Thank you for your understanding and we regret any inconvenience this may have on any Pantheonic-level sufferers. |
