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Does this singularity make me look fat?

created by Feinorgh

(idea) by Feinorgh (7.9 mon) (print)   ?   I like it! Sun Sep 10 2000 at 23:18:26

Yes, it does. You're infinitely fatter than a singularity.

Well... the exception being that you're a singularity yourself, in which case you have no business asking that question anyway.


(idea) by pfft (1.9 mon) (print)   ?   1 C! I like it! Mon Jun 23 2003 at 23:35:29

When Sally invited me to visit her in her physics lab we had not met in person for over a year, and to tell the truth I was a bit startled by the dramatic change in her appearance. Normally I try to be diplomatic when it comes to potentially embarrassing questions, but in this case, once the preliminary greetings were over with I just had to ask:

"So... you have been gaining some weight lately?"

She drew a sharp breath and visibly startled, and I cursed myself for being such a blunt fool. Clearly this was a sensitive topic. But then she let out a forced laugh:

"Oh, ha-ha. It must be that darn experimental black hole acting up again! You see, it bends the lightrays so an object appears to subtend a larger angle when viewed by an observer on the other side of it. I'd say it easily adds ten pounds!"

She briskly walked up to the white-board and drew a quick diagram.

 
                         . (
                     .     (
                .          (
            *   *  *       (
        *             * [  (
Me  *          +        [  (
        *             * [  (
            *   *  *       (
                .          (
                     .     (
                         . (
 + = singularity
 * = true path of light
 . = apparent (straight-line) path
 [ = true size of Sally
 ( = apparent size

I really did not know what to make of it - a far gone case of denial, or was this some kind of subtle put-down? So I tried to make light (sic) of the situation.

"Aha. So that's why they call them gravitational lenses, eh?"

Women. I'll never understand them.


printable version
chaos

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