Everything2
Near Matches
Ignore Exact
Full Text
Everything2

Doc Otis Hard Lemonade

created by mills

(thing) by mills (3.9 wk) (print)   ?   (I like it!) Thu Apr 26 2001 at 5:35:42

Capitalizing on the same inexplicable surge in demand for alternatives to beer as Mike's Hard Lemonade (its main competitor ), Anheuser-Busch's "Doc" Otis Hard Lemonade is a malt-liquor, lemon-flavored beverage sold in 12 ounce bottles. Although its alcohol content is only 5.0%, compared to Mike's 5.2%, "Doc" Otis enjoys some small advantages over its rival:

(1) It has an incrementally smaller amount of sugar (although it is still sweet enough to provoke hysterical nausea and instant cavities if consumed to excess).

(2) While originally marketed with an entirely concocted, character-based campaign, its supposed inventor is less irritating than Mike's, if only because "Doc's" biography is related with enough self-aware facetiousness to avoid seeming insulting. The "Doctor," who evidently earned his nickname for his ability to mix lemons and liquor with almost medical precision, embarks on "zany," "wild" adventures involving Native Americans, prostitutes, cowboys, and angry husbands. Wacky hijinx ensue, although the visage on the front of the bottles posesses all the rough-hewn severity of the Old West. In short: stupid, but tolerable (unlike the story of "Mike").

(3) Anheuser-Busch, perhaps responding to righteous (if timid) consumer outrage at the idiocy of these fictional characters and the deplorably blatant marketing manipulation they represent, is repackaging "Doc" Otis: it will soon be offered without any narrative context, simply as the wine cooler it more or less is.

On a particularly hot afternoon, especially after a painful night of drinking or a long bender, "Doc" Otis, like Mike's Hard Lemonade, is not at all unpleasant, especially to those who just can't drink any more damn beer (but be warned: the carbonation of these 'hard-lemonade' drinks is just as likely to induce vomiting as that of beer, and all that sugar will come back to haunt you).


printable version
chaos

Mike's Hard Lemonade Sublime Hard Lemonade wine cooler Smirnoff
Lager top Big Business in Nazi Germany liquor Chicken fingers with honey mustard
May 15, 2001 marketing Anheuser-Busch Catch-22
Y'know, if you log in, you can write something here, or contact authors directly on the site. Create a New User if you don't already have an account.
  Epicenter
Login
Password

password reminder
register

Everything2 Help

Cool Staff Picks
Little presents from the Node Fairy:
This heart that lives in winter
Three McDonald's: The Viability of a Third-Party Candidate
Ogg Vorbis
Society for the prevention of Haikus
International Space Station
pwnt
Shogun - Total War
Dulce et Decorum Est
Limited liability company
The origins of the American accent
punctuation
Forum Romanum
Beowulf on Everything
New Writeups
antigravpussy
One fly amongst many(person)
sam512
Moon Base Shackleton, 1978(fiction)
Pavlovna
toy boy(person)
XWiz
tear jerker(review)
Heitah
Anarchy is Order(idea)
jessicaj
July 26, 2008(dream)
Berek
ABBA(person)
devolution
k-hole(place)
Nadine_2
The Sound Of Madness(review)
SwimmingMonkey
Conversations with Fo Fo, the Loneliest dog in Purgatory(fiction)
locke baron
lynx(thing)
Simulacron3
Reality, Dimensions and the Natural Ontology(essay)
SubSane
Making Love to a 9-Foot Woman(person)
Ouzo
Thoughts(idea)
antigravpussy
I fall silent, listening. The breadcrumbs are talking about us(person)
E2 is a by-product of the existence of The Everything Development Company