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Brian says
created by
K9
(
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) by
K9
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3
C!
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I like it!
Thu Feb 08 2001 at 9:53:37
Brian is my
co-worker
and sits at the same
desk
. He used to be a
bomb-disposal officer
with the
British Army
in
Northern Ireland
and got both of his legs and his
external genitalia
blown off in a
booby-trap bomb
. Brian is another
hero
of the type we meet every day.
Brian says...
that a
wheelchair
is the most
comfortable
form of
seating
ever
devised
that writing
COBOL
is
God's punishment
for having cheated on his
ex-wife
that kids are
the best thing in this life
that he could
take me
in a
fight
any day of the week
that the word
disabled
is a
pretty euphamism
for
cripple
and he'd rather
tell the truth
that life as a
castrato
is almost better. "I only want to enjoy my job, see my kids
from time to time
and drink my
Guinness
. The rest
doesn't matter
anymore.
that the best thing about
pissing through a tube
is that it doesn't stand up in the morning
that
the Irish are God's people
. "They're as big a bunch of
useless bastard
s as He is"
that
the worst thing in the world
is to be a cripple with a fear of
elevator
s
that
most bombs are crap
- "I've had louder
fart
s"
that he doesn't want to blow up the
terrorist
s who did this to him - "I'd just nail their feet to the fucking floor and see how they like it"
that only
men with small penises
wear neckties. "It's a big arrow, isn't it? Advertising is always a lie".
that the best thing about being in a wheelchair is that he can get
pretty young women
to make cups of tea for him
that the best thing about being
asexual
is that he no longer cares whether they do or not
that for him, at least,
it's a wonderful life
.
printable version
chaos
Shall I scare you with the truth? Or tell the pretty lie?
Family Guy
Greek and Roman Mythology
wheelchair
genitalia
British Army
Mame
COBOL
Northern Ireland
Hero
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