So basically after said encounter I undergo a considerable amout of wtf-ing as said girl is usually quite attractive. Then the next day I will realize that they are just nice to everyone in general and don't really care for me much in particular.

Remember, if you like me, make sure to club me over the head with the fact.

Well they could all just like me and I could just be dumb, but what are the odds?

Zach: I agree with most of your ideas, but I (pretty obviously) meant 'like' in a romantic sense, where niceness isn't really much of an indicator when its shown to everyone.

Oh, and don't be fooled by the:

"Make her laugh and she's yours" trap.

Make her laugh and it's just as likely that, sooner or later, you will be hit by the stomach-pulling
"You're like a big brother to me" line, and that pisses on your chips like nothing else.

I also completely agree with the above writeup. I think lots of shy geeks have the same problem (myself very much included). I have long since given up trying to fathom who does and doesn't like me and usually fall into the deadly friend zone from which there is no escape.

Sufficiently nice people also may just want to be your friend anyway. It's all part of the complex web of trying to work out whether someone fancies you.

Ahab: In my personal experience you are completely wrong :). Much as I'd like to believe the films/books/lifestyle magazines that say "making her laugh is the most important thing". I have found this to be profoundly false.

My first (and unrequited) love was very nice to me. We were friends, and she laughed at all my jokes. She didn't however like me in that way. That was quite a few years ago now.

Secondly there was this other girl who I really liked and am still pretty good friends with. Even now, almost anything I say can reduce her to fits of laughter. In fact I can do it with a tactical glance. She, also, doesn't fancy me. I do have to resist saying "Don't be sexy. I said stop that." quite a lot however. These constitute two of the three people who I have ever straight-up asked out. Doh ;) (also they are both examples of the sufficiently nice people that are the subject of this node).

Ironically, my most recent girlfriend (though it was very shortlived), wasn't that 'nice', didn't share my sense of humour, and said 'yes' when I asked her out... (I also liked her more than anyone else I've been out with (see January 9, 2001)) - Bizarre.

Make her laugh -- hard.