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Advice the KJV Bible has to give about Everything

created by mblase

(idea) by mblase (2.8 d) (print)   ?   1 C! I like it! Wed Aug 16 2000 at 15:14:47

Sadly, the Everything King James Bible doesn't have a lot to say about Everything. The New King James Version, on the other hand, with its updated language, has plenty to say. I felt compelled to share this timely wisdom with my fellow Everythingians, that we may learn from the one true history of Everything and the examples of our predecessors.

Genesis 1:31
Then God saw Everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good.
Number 29:40
So Moses told the children of Israel Everything, just as the LORD commanded Moses.
Deuteronomy 28:47-48
"Because you did not serve the LORD your God with joy and gladness of heart, for the abundance of Everything, therefore you shall serve your enemies, whom the LORD will send against you, in hunger, in thirst, in nakedness, and in need of Everything; and He will put a yoke of iron on your neck until He has destroyed you.
Joshua 4:10
So the priests who bore the ark stood in the midst of the Jordan until Everything was finished....
1 Samuel 3:18
Then Samuel told him Everything, and hid nothing from him. And he said, "It is the LORD. Let Him do what seems good to Him."
1 Kings 14:25-26
It happened in the fifth year of King Rehoboam that Shishak king of Egypt came up against Jerusalem. And he took away the treasures of the house of the LORD and the treasures of the king's house; he took away Everything.
Job 41:11
"Who has preceded Me, that I should pay him? Everything under heaven is Mine."
Proverbs 26:10
The great God who formed Everything Gives the fool his hire and the transgressor his wages.
Ecclesiasties 3:11
He has made Everything beautiful in its time.
Ecclesiasties 10:19
A feast is made for laughter, And wine makes merry; But money answers Everything.
Jeremiah 44:18
But since we stopped burning incense to the queen of heaven and pouring out drink offerings to her, we have lacked Everything and have been consumed by the sword and by famine.
Daniel 2:40
And the fourth kingdom shall be as strong as iron, inasmuch as iron breaks in pieces and shatters Everything; and like iron that crushes, that kingdom will break in pieces and crush all the others.
Zephaniah 1:2
"I will utterly consume Everything From the face of the land," Says the LORD....
Matthew 8:33
Then those who kept (the swine) fled; and they went away into the city and told Everything, including what had happened to the demon-possessed men.
Acts 17:24
God, who made the world and Everything in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands.
1 Corinthians 1:4-5
I thank my God always concerning you for the grace of God which was given to you by Christ Jesus, that you were enriched in Everything by Him in all utterance and all knowledge....
2 Corinthians 9:11-12
...while you are enriched in Everything for all liberality, which causes thanksgiving through us to God. For the administration of this service not only supplies the needs of the saints, but also is abounding through many thanksgivings to God....
2 Corinthians 11:9
And in Everything I kept myself from being burdensome to you, and so I will keep myself.
Ephesians 5:24
Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in Everything.
1 Thessalonians 5:18
...in Everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Thus saith the Lord. Amen.


(idea) by katherine (20.8 min) (print)   ?   1 C! I like it! Wed Aug 16 2000 at 15:40:49

One of my favorite verses:

In King James, it's translated "all things", but in 1 Thessalonians 5:21, the Apostle Paul says:
"Critically examine everything. Keep all that's good, abstain from every form of iniquity"
I translated this straight from the original Greek, so this exact version probably won't be in any bible currently in print.

printable version
chaos

Everything King James Bible They hit each other, like fucking Christ intended! Blessed are the Downvoted Iniquity
New King James Version The Lord of the Rings 1 Thessalonians 5 Old Testament law doesn't apply to Christians
Lords of Acid Jesux time for a change Zondervan Publishing House
The Hedgehog Can Never Be Buggered At All biblical inerrancy Belle and Sebastian Isaiah 53
Amen Lord John Whorfin EIPT Dinosaur Comics
He thinks I don't, but I do If the King's English was good enough for Jesus Leader of the House of Lords emotion
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