The History of US Legal Thought
NOTE: This was originally published by me in the online law students' magazine The Dissent. To avoid misunderstandings, "published by me" shall be understood here to mean "my original work which I had published in a publication."
FACT PATTERN:
Shit Happens.
Enlightenment-Era Divine/Natural Law:
We hold it to be a self-evident Truth that it is the Will of our Creator that Shit happen.
Contract Formalism
Pursuant to Art. III § 4 Cl. 2, you assume the risk that shit happens.
Legal Realism
Shit doesn't necessarily have to happen.
Critical Legal Studies
Deconstructive analysis shows that, since everything inherently includes its opposite, shit actually does not happen.
Marxist Legal Studies
Shit only happens because the ruling class wants it to happen. Otherwise it would occasionally happen to them, too.
Post-Realist Late Twentieth-Century Legal Cynicism:
Fuck this shit. I'm gonna write suspense novels. | 
