It is a sad but true fact of life on the internet that when you encounter someone in a chat room who claims to be a middle-aged, balding, out-of-shape tax attorney, they are often no such thing.

In reality they are a buxom, blonde, bisexual sorority girl, of the all-too-common type who lounges her nights away in front of the computer wearing skimpy lingerie, pleasuring herself with a variety of exotic sex toys whilst cruelly toying with the affections of her unsuspecting victims, who really wanted to chat with someone who looks more like Mel Sharples.