Everything2 is a collection of user-submitted writings about more or less everything. Spend some time looking around and reading, or learn how to contribute.

Cream of the Cool

This word is a portmanteau of cop and paparazzi. It is slang term for the automated traffic enforcement cameras that police departments use to detect and issue citations to motorists who run red lights, break the speed limit, make prohibited turns, etc. Many motorists dislike these cameras as much or more than traditional speed traps; an automated ticket can cost nearly…

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of…

Imagine an old house shared by roommates who've been there a long time. There's a bathroom upstairs, and a bathroom in the dimly-lit basement. At some point, there's a leaky pipe that drips onto one of the basement stairs. Nobody notices it for months, and when they do, they discover one of the stairs has rotted through, leaving a dangerous hole where the step should be. The roommates recognize it's a problem, but on the other hand it's not a big deal to just step over the hole, is it? Nobody's…

”Hi, I’m Phil Hartman, perhaps you may remember me from my portrayal of such well known celebrities such as Frank Sinatra, Barbara Bush, Charlton Heston, Phil Donahue and President Bill Clinton back in the days when I was working at Saturday Night Live. But there’s probably so much more you don’t know about me so I’m getting ready to tell you the story of my life.”

Believe it or not, I was born in that hotbed of comedy, Brantford,…