ushdfgakjasgh's New Writeups

Write A Poem That Isn't Shitty Quest 2010 (thing)

2009-12-31T22:43:35Z

A quest!

judges:
ushdfgakjasgh

eien_meru

raincomplex

Since people on E2 are so awful at writing poetry, I thought I would help spur them along. Anybody who submits a poem that a majority of a panel of 3 judges (of my choosing, listed above) decides isn't shitty will be guaranteed a C! from all three judges. Judges cannot submit their own work!

The quest starts now! It will end as soon as it becomes March 1st, 2010, server time. Get those creative juices cooking, you fucking morons! To submit a writeup, message one of the judges, and we'll confer amongst ourselves.

Each poem that's submitted will be accompanied by a review conducted by each judge, below the penguin. Poems can be unsubmitted if your feelings are deeply hurt by the reviews, but this is strongly frowned upon - be strong! Each poem that's accepted for the quest will get a chunk of the following penguin that

…

I will fuck sophanda on the bus to school (poetry)

2009-12-31T20:37:19Z

shit she says everyone Is
watching, we cracked open the
windows and Went at it, sophanda
squirms on the cold leather
seats in the back, head banging
against the aluminum on the
sides, the bus driver
joins in and we drive off
a cliff, what a shithole
it is here, fuck this
Appalachia bullshit; sophanda
is swollen and cumming and the
fire escape is burning, what
heaven in her
arms

We all float down here (poetry)

2009-12-31T18:26:12Z

aren't you coming I held
down my hand to
Welcome and there you were wall
paper roses, Latticework over
the sky and the verand
a, i had Looking into
you a Sense the ground
water was spouting
compact mirages and somewhere
up below the current we slept
peacefully for the first
time; Miranda I see coming
paisley architects and bruising
clouds, look at the
crimson sky, pierced and we will now
be truthful with each
other, laughing and weeping so then
tomorrow and death will never
come

I declare mankind to be totally free (recipe)

2009-12-31T02:37:51Z

Governments are illegitimate! Violence is immoral, whether in the name of a nation or a person! The EU and the UN are bad jokes with no punchlines! Poverty disappears when the coercive theft of taxation and oppressive regulation disappears, and so does all the crime that poverty causes! Real democracy is deciding exactly where your money goes, not having corrupt pigs decide that for you! Move past Go as many times as you want, collect whatever you want on the way! If I get shot or arrested in the next few months, you'll know why! If you're in government, get a job that actually helps society!

Rock and roll, dudes!


   #    #     #    #    ######   #####  #     # #     #   ###
  # #   ##    #   # #   #     # #     # #     #  #   #    ###
 #   #  # #   #  #   #  #     # #       #     #   # #     ###
#     # #  #  # #     # ######  #       #######    #       #
####### #   # # ####### #   #   #       #     #    #
#     # #    ##

…

The last Postal Service worker cleans out his desk (idea)

2009-12-28T19:50:41Z

"It's a whole new world now, Gabriel," said the Inspector. "Just no need for violence anymore."

Gabriel pulls the name tag from the breast of his shirt and folds it into his pocket. Through the window he watches the sun, starting to melt the snow.

pieces of us we (fiction)

2009-12-18T22:53:55Z

left swimming, you had white
feathers streaming halfway
through the water, and
something you said was
deafening but I could
barely make it out. from the
surface the summer was trickling
below and the world
was an awning like
sapphire, watching us
pick up the
pieces we left
floating. between the
trees we came up for
air and then everything
we said was
poetry