Everything2 New Writeups

The Bread of the Early Years (poetry)

2010-01-02T08:37:04Z

Böll writes of childhood
and of bread:
of breaking its spine
exposing its entrails
and devouring the belly
of it, still warm
like a starved wolf.

the smell of yeast rises
from the page, fills your nose;
you feel the soft flesh
cramming every crevice
of your eager mouth
The pulse pounds in
your temples.
You are a bloodless,
but still slavering
carnivore.

That is the way to read.

aspartame (idea)

2010-01-02T08:34:14Z

imho, Myself and another epileptic I know cannot have any form of artificial sweetener. This has proven bad on more than one occasion. For example. Living in a house with a diabetic and a diet-obsessed person led me to ending up about two miles from home, thoroughly lost and disoriented, after having used what I thought were sugar packets, because my parental unit kept both in the house. I didn't know how to tell the difference at the time. Now I do. But, on that note, if you do have epilepsy and can have artificial sweeteners without a problem, go for it. But if you don't know, please, please be careful and consult your neurologist!

Cosmopolitan Magazine (person)

2010-01-02T06:23:28Z

I don't read magazines that much (including my on-again, off-again favorite, MAD) because...well, because they're not like novel-length stories put in book form or even those short-story anthology sampler platters.

Magazines are the prostitutes of the reading world — you pay a small amount for about an hour's worth of pleasure, then when you're done, you can leave them in a public place, pass them on to the next sucker, cut them up until there's nothing left, or throw them in the trash in the hopes that it gets smeared and drenched with scalding hot coffee that has lost its morning luster, icy fruit drinks from a trendy café or convenience store, used tissues, and ketchup-smeared fast food containers.

So why did I bother to buy (and keep) an October 2006 issue, a November 2006 issue, a December 2006 issue, and a January 2007 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine, and put Cosmopolitan.com down in my Internet Explorer Favorites?

Simply put: I'm making a comedy fire…

snow is creeping down the foothills. drawn out to a cold prairie, shameless with window-lights. (poetry)

2010-01-02T05:15:43Z

You can smell it in the breeze,
when the wind changes
Picking up speed as it moves from West to Northwest

Then a few flakes, tentative and sparse
followed by waves of them, thicker and stronger
covering sidewalks, roofs and parking lots.

Cars overnight become all the same colour
buried monuments in silent rows

A few brave souls will venture out
leaving temporary footsteps
holes that are filled within minutes
as the white softens every sound

In the morning the frozen ground shimmers,
muted sunlight over a smooth landscape
china white and fragile from a distance

Usufruct (idea)

2010-01-02T03:53:21Z

Usufruct, in simple terms, is the ability to use a piece of property, either for personal utility or for profit, without actually having total ownership of that property. This lack of total ownership of property might mean that the property can not be sold or otherwise transferred by the the person who owns usufruct rights, and it might mean that the property can not be substantially altered. For example, (to use a quite literal interpretation), a person who had usufruct on an orchard could use the fruits for personal consumption, or could sell them, but would not have the right to cut down the orchard and turn it into a field.

The history of usufruct as a concept would probably involve a team of anthropologists and lawyers, but probably every culture has had an idea of usufruct at some time or another. It would often cause misunderstandings between cultures, when the extent of rights being transferred was not clearly laid out. For example, a group of Native…

Wyoming Rule (idea)

2010-01-02T01:56:24Z

The Wyoming Rule is a proposed change in the way that seats are apportioned to the United States House of Representatives. As it is, congressional districts are defined by dividing a fixed number of seats (currently set at 435), by the entire population of the country. For most states, this gives a district size of around 650,000 people. However, each state is entitled to at least one representative, no matter how small its population drops. Thus, Wyoming, with a population of 515,000 people, has one representative, just like Montana, with 950,000 people. Some feel that this violates the purpose of the House, which is to give states equal representation based on population.

The Wyoming Rule would make it so that a house district would be defined as being equal to the smallest unit that gets a house district, which is currently the state of Wyoming. This would increase the number of house seats, perhaps by a quarter or a third. It would probably give more…

Tricks of the Mind (review)

2010-01-02T00:54:54Z

After writing two books for fellow professionals, charismatic magician Derren Brown finally wrote one for the general public, Tricks of the Mind. As he essentially lies for a living, I assumed that it would mostly consist of the patter he offers to punters savvy enough to not quite believe in psychic powers or real magick, but still gullible enough to believe in stage hypnotism as it's presented, neurolinguistic programming, and so on. Instead, I was pleasantly surprised to find it frank and honest.

In Tricks of the Mind, Brown talks about various subjects of interest that are related to his stage act, namely stage magic, improving memory, hypnosis, and subtle body language. Perhaps more surprising is the lengthy section on the art of rational thinking.

I can only imagine this book is aimed at people who saw his show, either live or on TV, then got swept up in the awe and excitement and wanted for all of about five minutes to become a fellow…

We never smile in a way that is not obsequious (fiction)

2010-01-02T00:13:18Z

She woke in the middle of the night, sheets tangled around her legs and his arm hot and heavy on her stomach. With tired care she slid out of the bed. The summer air was warm and the sound of the beach washed in through the window. As her head started pounding she recalled the bottle of wine... She glanced through the open door as she made her way to the bathroom. Yes, two wine glasses and the half-empty bottle of dark red wine was still on the table. A pink petalled rose wilted in between the glasses. She sighed. The story of her life: everything wilted but not quite dead.

She peed and washed her hands, dried them and then wet them again to splash water on her face. Her mouth felt rank so she brushed her teeth, rinsed, spat and put her hands on the counter, leaning forward so her head touched the mirror. Two persons the same, colliding. It would be easier if she were a reflection, she considered, wondering…

at-large congressional district (place)

2010-01-01T23:21:13Z

In the United States House of Representatives, members are usually selected from congressional districts that are made out of a certain part of the state. In certain circumstances, however, the residents of the state have a representative for the entire state.

The first way this would happen is to have a representative (possibly several) that represented the state at large, in addition to representatives voted from individual districts. Various states have done this over the years, but currently none do so. The other type of at-large congressional district, and the one that is currently in use, is simply when a state has too small of a population to have more than one district. The following list of states only has one representative, picked from the state as a whole:

In addition to these normal congressional districts, the…

Getting drunk with 16 year olds (idea)

2010-01-01T23:10:24Z

The mix is sloppy; heavy on the alcohol, no considerations given to taste whatsoever. But alcohol is not something to be enjoyed, or even tolerated; for them, it is a means to an end only. Jenna looks at her friend after taking a sip of three-quarters vodka, with orange juice for colour, desperately trying to appear pleased even though her face is contorted in a disgusted grimace.

"Mmmm, this is really good! You should try some!"

And they both take sips, one after another, trying do out-do the other's acting skills. Meanwhile, I sit on the couch next to Liam, who is already slurring his words at what, 9:45, 30 minutes after we cracked open the liquor. Oh, young drinker, so much to learn yet. How to pace yourself, start quick and slow it down, riding the buzz. But I watch, the fascinated elder statesman, as they experiment and learn; what mixes well, what doesn't, what liquor…

Oregon's Congressional Districts (place)

2010-01-01T22:46:13Z

After writing about some theoretical, volatile political topics, I wanted to write something dealing with actual politics: the nuts and bolts of the American political system, which, to be honest, will probably be somewhat boring to those who don't follow politics closely. This is to describe the congressional districts of the state of Oregon. For our many foreign readers, and for the many Americans who aren't paying attention, each one of the United States gets two Senators for the effort of existing, and gets a number of representatives based on its population. Oregon, being a relatively small state, gets five members in the House of Representatives.

Many political entities in the United States and elsewhere are rather arbitrary and don't refer to people's actual perceived communities. While many Americans identify with the state they live in, sometimes fiercely, other areas, such as counties, are more…

How to change your life (idea)

2010-01-01T22:15:10Z

I aim this at anyone who feels 'stuck in their head', but dreams of a different life. Listen closely.

Mind is like water, it takes the path of least resistance. A path is like a river flowing from source to stream. If you are avoiding the life you want, your mind is taking a path of denial.

You cannot work through it by reason and thinking, only by experience. Action, not Thought. Learning to find new ways to be happy while you're doing the things that lead you to becoming yourself. It is by Doing that any progress is made.

That's it. Now, Do your Thing. Exercise? Film Making? Painting? Yoga? I don't care what your Thing is, just do it. As in, now. Yes i'm talking to you. Get some momentum going, get out of being centered in your thoughts right now and do it. Get off the internet. But do it with love, and if you're not loving it, move until you find your spot. And if the spot moves, follow it.

If you didn't do anything but think and read…

balatron of summer (poetry)

2010-01-01T21:53:12Z

she inhales everyone
coiling the skin
like Medea's sweat, Medusa's blood,
mensural, menstrual,
fleetingly in
summer, she everyone fucks
even that kid whose acne scars--
the world baculiform to her--
and she inhales
the gods of euphemistic margins who
feel cold hate like tortured schoolchildren
and we love

like knives in the dark.

Arara (person)

2010-01-01T21:46:09Z

The Arara are an indigenous ethnic group who live in the Brazilian state of Pará. According to Funasa, there were 271 people in the group in 2006. They speak a language pertaining to the Caribe family of languages. The Arara became famous for their bellicosity, and they used the skulls of enemies to make flutes, the teeth to make necklaces, and scalps. The virtual overlap between their passion for warfare and their continual disposition for establishing supportive and generous relations seems to have been a feature of an Arara world that today has given way to contacts and relations with the outside world.

Location and demographics

There are two areas which have been legally defined for the Arara, with different juridical and geographical situations. The Arara Indigenous Territory is associated with the subgroups contacted between 1981 and 1983, while the Cachoeira Seca do Iriri Indigenous Territory is associated to the subgroup contacted a few years later in 1987.…

Tesseract (thing)

2010-01-01T19:49:34Z

A Tesseract, as noted above, is a four-dimensional physical object also known as a hypercube.

Our regular old objects are as follows:

0: A point. Bounded by zero... things.
1: A line. Bounded by two points.
2: A square. Bounded by four lines and four points.
3: A cube. Bounded by six squares, twelve lines, and eight points.

Thus when we go to define our tesseract, we just have to follow the rules. The rules are kind of weird though.

A tesseract is bounded by eight cubes, that bit is pretty easy to get. Now, how do we understand how many squares it is bound by? Well, when we look at a square, it's bound by four lines, which each are defined by two points. Each point is shared by one other line. On a cube, we have six squares, bound by four lines each. Each line is shared by another square. Therefore, on a tesseract each of the squares of each of the cubes that define the tesseract is shared…

comfort eating (thing)

2010-01-01T18:24:15Z

Comfort eating is what someone may do if they're stressed, depressed or just bored. It fills a void, gives your hands something to do and seems to alleviate the emotional distress, at least for the time being.
The obvious problem with this, is that you don't always make the healthiest eating choices. My favorites include:
Pizza Hut's Mac and cheese (when they still had it, which they don't, dammit!) lasagna, sandwiches, macaroni and cheese, oftentimes with ketchup applied in liberal amounts, or any dessert treat. It probably would also include junk food But I don't keep that stuff in the house, for that reason. I usually eat double or even triple the amount a normal person.
Two pieces of pizza? fuck that! It's three, four, try five pieces. Now, recently I've been desperately trying to make things better for myself. I haven't been eating as much. I've been walking an hour or so every day when it's not too cold and I'll admit that I think that getting back…

phrasal verb (thing)

2010-01-01T17:18:44Z

A phrasal verb is a verb plus a preposition or an adverb which creates a different meaning from the original verb. These include things like 'figure out', 'close down', 'screw up', 'come across', 'spell out', 'keep up with', and 'stick up'. Among many others.

Some grammarians think that only idiomatic conjunctions should count as verbal phrases. (For example, you could not deduce the meaning of 'nod off' from the words 'nod' and 'off'; therefor it is idiomatic.) They would call literal conjunctions (for example 'break in') verb-particle constructions. Others think that even literal compound verbs should be considered phrasal verbs.

Many phrasal verbs are separable; for example the idiomatic form of 'break in' (to break in a new pair of shoes) can be split 'break x in' (to break the shoes in). This is still a single phrasal verb, despite being smeared across the sentence. Others phrasal verbs, such as 'count on' and '…

Wandering Stars (thing)

2010-01-01T17:01:04Z

Wandering Stars: An Anthology of Jewish Fantasy and Science Fiction, is a marvelous collection of short stories edited by Jack Dann. As the subtitle suggests, all thirteen stories concern Jews in fantastic situations. Some are tragic, others, hilarious. My copy was given to me by my brother's Rabbi, one of the coolest women I know. My family is about as Jewish as a ham sandwich, but my brother somehow managed to emerge quasi-religious. Both the Rabbi and the book made me feel a real connection with my heritage. As Isaac Asimov writes in the introduction to this lovely volume, "despite all my infidel ways and beliefs, I am Jewish enough."

So, on to the stories...

On Venus, Have We Got a Rabbi* by William Tenn -- The Bulbas, a race of pillow-shaped aliens with tentacles, come to a Jewish colony of Venus, insisting that they are Jews as well. Largely based on Tevye the Dairyman by…

Far off approaching (poetry)

2010-01-01T14:47:07Z

At age 10, middle age was someone else's fiction
a rumor, a story told secondhand

At 20, middle age was a warning, a possible consequence
usually mentioned in connection with things left undone, or
to describe expectations that would be unfulfilled

At 30 middle age was a fun house mirror
but nobody was laughing.

When I think about 50, it feels far away
but not that far.

Apurina (person)

2010-01-01T13:28:48Z

The Apurinã are an indigenous group of people who live in the Brazilian states of Amazonas, Mato Grosso, and Rondônia. According to Funasa, there were 3256 people in the group in 2006. They speak a language pertaining to the Aruak and Maipurean families of languages. The Apurinã live scattered over sites close to the banks of the Purus river, and they hve a rich cosmological and ritual universe. Their history has affected by the violence of the two rubber cycles in the Amazon region. Some parts of their territory have not been officially recognised, and illegal loggers are frequently seen.

Name and language

It is speculated that Apurinã - or in its older form, Ipuriná - may be a word from the Jamamadi language. The people of the group refer to themselves as popukare. Some old texts use the word "kãkite" as the self-identifier. Kãkite means "people", but according to some Apurinã it means "humans". The Apurinã language is a member of the Maipure-Aruak family (Facunde…

Write A Poem That Isn't Shitty Quest 2010 (person)

2010-01-01T13:22:18Z

Here is my submission, entitled:

I got your poem right here

There once was a noder named ushdfgakjasgh
Who thought that my poem was mshtlakjasgh
He and eien_meru
And yes, raincomplex too
Can suck on my big sweaty rpxanhjskjasgh

FitQuest 2010 (idea)

2010-01-01T08:12:50Z

I'm sure you know the drill -- the New Year is a time for shedding past indiscretions, mistakes, and habits and trying to pick up some newer, shinier, all-around better resolutions for your life. For lots of people, that means trying to live a healthier lifestyle. Hit the gym, the track, the pool, the Wii Fit, and try to drop some of the pounds you've taken on over the holiday season! But for lots of people, this also means trying something new, getting tired of it, and quitting long before the end of the year rolls around, requiring the whole doofy process to start over again.

So this year, maybe we should try to encourage each other to do it together. Do you have an exercise regimen you follow, or want to start? Do you have a particular sporting event or athlete you enjoy or admire? Is there a certain healthy recipe you'd like to share with…

¡Long Live the Mole Queen! (idea)

2010-01-01T03:17:23Z

There is a circle of approximately 1-mile radius in Mar del Plata
within which one's mind cannot make sense of anything visual
apart from words.

Following some initial investigation I have ascertained that the centre of the hypothetical circle must be located somewhere in the area delimited by Av. Juan José Paso, Av. Independencia, Av. Pedro Luro and Av. Peralta Ramos.

Now, to elaborate a little on the actual effects. As I said, while within the area, one loses (temporarily, it seems) the ability to analyse and process visual cues into information (words excluded). I have to say it is a phenomenon of a most unnerving quality.

Let's take television. You can perceive of some indeterminate and thoroughly meaningless shapes moving, but the information gain is that of a person staring at a blank screen. (My fiancée, the only being I dared to let in on the discovery by means of a rather tense letter, did not seem perturbed in the…

January 1, 2010 (place)

2010-01-01T01:25:12Z

As this should have worked

For those of you who are joining us, the end of the year has passed Europe and Africa. It is now moving onto the eastern Atlantic at a rate of some 15 degrees per hour, which it has maintained ever since the first sightings in the Pacific. At this speed, no trace of 2009 will remain on this Earth in twelve hours' time. Please remain calm. Stay in our homes. Despite any rumors you may have heard, there's yet no evidence that this event is destructive. Panic is the worst thing you can do to prepare yourself and your loved ones for whatever may come. This station will continue to bring you the latest news for as long as we can.

In a press conference earlier today, a DOD spokesman stated that the United States would take, quote, "any steps necessary" to "defend the sanctity of its soil and people." Details are scarce, but reliable sources tell us that the aircraft carriers …

Pressed Chocolate Cake (recipe)

2010-01-01T00:30:17Z

Don't go hunting for your steam iron, you're just going to flatten the cake with a plate after baking.

This luscious dessert delivers a direct chocolate hit without the usual fudge brownie or "candy bar" texture. Use the best extra-bittersweet chocolate you can find, preferably Callebaut or Green & Black's. Lindt and Ghirardelli products are more readily available and you might prefer the taste. Hershey's Special Dark or regular chocolate chips wouldn't make the grade here; they are too sweet, and you need chocolate with about a 70% cacao content.

I've been told this can easily be made kosher for Passover because the leavening ingredient is egg whites. But don't rely on my word; I was raised Episcopalian, and don't even give up chocolate for Lent.

7 oz. extra bittersweet chocolate
14 tablespoons unsalted…