http://everything2.com/?node=New%20Writeups%20Atom%20Feed&foruser=Pfhor 2009-06-08T00:43:24Z http://everything2.com:80/user/Pfhor/writeups/June+8%252C+2009Pfhorhttp://everything2.com:80/user/Pfhor2009-06-08T00:43:24Z2009-06-08T00:43:24Z <p>In honour of <a href="/title/David+Carradine">David Carradine</a>, who recently passed away thanks to one of my favourite causes of death, failed <a href="/title/autoerotic+asphyxiation">autoerotic asphyxiation</a>, I have written a short <a href="/title/haiku">haiku</a>. It's not my best work, I admit, but I'm slightly stricken with grief.</p> <blockquote> <p><i>Fap yourself until blue,<br>With rope around neck you sigh,<br>What a way to go</i></p> </blockquote> <p> <a href="/title/Goodnight%252C+sweet+prince">Goodnight, sweet prince</a>. You will be missed.</p> http://everything2.com:80/user/Pfhor/writeups/August+17%252C+2008Pfhorhttp://everything2.com:80/user/Pfhor2008-08-17T18:37:24Z2008-08-17T18:37:24Z <p>Keeping drinks cold is <a href="/title/serious+business">serious business</a>, at least I've been told it should be, as I work in a bar and generally have to worry about things like this.</p> <p>And therein lies the rub. Water-based <a href="/title/ice+cube">ice cubes</a> are traditional, but they're usually not preferable as while they do a fantastic job at keeping stuff cold, they also have a tendency to piss off some of our customers who are generally <a href="/title/twat">twat</a>s and are deeply offended that their pristine, perfect drink is being befouled and, quite frankly, <em>shamed</em> by the presence of WATER - Who do you think they are? <em><strong>Animals</strong></em>?</p> <p>We used to use quite ingenious little metal devices. They were pretty much smooth, steel blobs that were hollow and almost completely filled with water. The water inside freezes and stays frozen for quite a while, which keeps the metal cold, that in turn keeps the drink cold. They are completely <a href="/title/tasteless">tasteless</a>, provided you don't put them in&hellip; http://everything2.com:80/user/Pfhor/writeups/Broken+PenisPfhorhttp://everything2.com:80/user/Pfhor2008-08-11T16:04:59Z2008-08-11T16:04:59Z <p><a href="/title/This+is+not+my+proudest+moment">This is not my proudest moment</a></p> <p></p> <p>Around about two nights ago, me and my lady decided there were many, many things that needed celebrating. Abe's new job, her cousins visiting her, and my continued holding of the title "<a href="/title/Guitar+Hero">Guitar Hero</a> God" (Ok, so not that many but when you're <a href="/title/young+and+beautiful">young and beautiful</a> do you really need such profundity?).</p> <p></p> <p>There were many drinks involved, which is, in a roundabout way, where this tale of woe starts. We made our way back home, parting ways with the rest of our party and taking the metro, where we were mostly alone and <a href="/title/heavy+petting">taking true advantage of this</a>. We left the subway and stumbled through the streets to our apartment where we started where we left off and eventually fell into that blissful torpor of drunken sleep.</p> <p></p> <p>The next day is where the problem started. <a href="/title/Sex%252C+Watson%252C+and+lots+of+it">Sex, Watson, and lots of it</a>. Not entirely unheard of, right? Two young people, a sunday morning, not a care in the world, horrific hangovers, and&hellip;