Alcahest's New Writeups

How to love someone who is mentally ill (idea)

2008-09-05T19:36:53Z

Schizophrenia. The word itself is cruel beyond definition, yet necessary? No better example of how love can be cruel.

There's a me that can see how you see things...but no, I cast you into the abyss where you're wrong; no, your demons are not real, I cannot allow them to be, for your good, and for the good of mankind, and I allow myself the privilege of not suffering them as I see the torment on your face.

I could believe every word you speak and feel their claws upon you, but I appear as one face among many, one tormentor that appears in your fragmented world of chaos: The lord of your world which says: Your world is not real, I love you.

Your world is not accurate; I come up with a million reasons which scream across the abyss: Chemical imbalance; the chemical imbalance screeches into the abyss and dissolves what is real for you into hallucinations, not realities. Is it love, or unimaginable cruelty? I trap you in the machinations of chemistry;…

timecube (person)

2008-05-06T17:29:18Z

Three-dimensional time at one point in my life started seeming like a frightening possibility. With alternate realities now being at the very least a probability, it seemed that there could be some mechanism to move between these alternate realities. I am not a physicist, but a madman with a vivid and frightful imagination. I experience the reality where we move forward in time in a linear line to be but an illusion. I think we're merely conditioned to think that our consciousness has to move forward in some thing we call "time", and that it may be possible to move backwards, or in the case of three-dimensional time, sideways within time into similar but alternate realities through an act of the will.

Time is not but the rhythms of nature manifesting themselves in patterns, to the ancients. If we could find a new rhythm, or play the rhythm backwards, who knows what insane possibilities would await us. Many schizophrenics and psychotics I have met in mental wards…

Under the Bridge (place)

2008-05-06T15:25:58Z

Under the highway bridge, the place of escape in my youth, there was a dreary but almost lively beauty. Empty packs of cigarettes smoked by teenagers whose eyes no doubt had flit about looking for adults were strewn about everywhere. Graffiti in many forms adorned the concrete columns and steel rafters. There were crossed out denunciations of ethnic groups, followed by denunciations of said denunciators. Spray paint bottles covered in rust and dust found their abode on piles of broken concrete. From one of the steel rafters hung a rope. We were always perplexed by the rope. How had someone climbed all the way across the rafter somehow, just to tie it there? The rope was cut and frayed at its ends; we always wondered if someone had hung himself there.

Near the top of one of the steel columns, which were about 30 feet high, was something clumsily spray-painted that said "If Mom saw me now!" A large road sign from the highway above served as a sort of sled which we would use to careen…

Ambulance lights reflecting off of rain-soaked telephone poles (event)

2007-07-10T03:34:18Z

As I leaned against my car, the Ouzo providing the necessary stupor, the sirens of an ambulance blared through the air like a pestilence of flatulent death, farting reminders of mortality for all within earshot, multicolored lights reflect off of rain-soaked telephone poles, shooting darts of terrible beauty into my gaping eyes, a kaleidoscope of horrible possibilities to half-heartedly imagine.

"Life and death are their livelihoods. There's no point in fretting about it."

A waking dream, inaccurate on some levels, all too true on others: Ambulance drivers gearing up, saving lives. I should commend them. We need death. Death, death, death. We need people to cause death, and people to save lives from death. As long as there is death, entropy, dissolution, corrosion, corruption, and decay, we need the flashing lights, the beautiful purposeful wail which signifies matters ominous, important, and flatulent.

We need heart-attacks at inopportune…

Effexor (idea)

2007-03-22T04:17:14Z

It's been 2 days since my last dose of Effexor. I climb into my car, where I can be loud and no one can hear me. I allow all of the indignant rage accumulated since the last point I let it all out build up at the very center of my being. I let forth a torrent of absolute fury, visualizing it ripping away all that embodies the memeplex that we call "Effexor", its black tendrils of nullifying ennui being torn away from my mind, back to the phamaceutical abyss from which it emerged.

"Effexor! I command thee! Begone from my body! Effexor! Leave my body alone! Stay away from my body!
Stay away from my mind! Begone!
Let my emotions flow! Give me back my creativity!
Effexor! I command thee! Begone from my body!
Give me back my motivation! Give me back my life!
Give me back my imagination! Begone from my body!"

I am the supreme master of my own mind and body in that moment. No pretended biological, endocrine, or technocratic manipulation can…

understanding (idea)

2007-02-22T09:57:07Z

"Understanding"

Such as strange word this is. It is used probably multiple times every day by most English speaking humans, with nary a thought given to its implications. To "understand" something is to not only gain knowledge of something, but to put the knowledge into its proper context. One can be told that something is true, but if one does not understand why it is true, and the implications of its truth, one has knowledge but not understanding.

But let's think about this word for a second. It implies something very peculiar: that one is standing under what is "understood"! How very interesting. Does this bias a person who learns of something to always view themselves as beneath what is learned, always receiving from something considered above themselves what is understood? Why not "overstanding"?

Could it be that the very idea of understanding carries with it a cultural bias? Could it be that the idea of understanding reinforces a…