March 12, 2025

WHITE HOUSE UNVEILS POTUS-LLM

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a groundbreaking move to streamline government operations, balance the federal budget, and revolutionize social media, the White House proudly announces the launch of POTUS-LLM (Presidential Omniscient Text Unification System - Large Language Model).

"POTUS-LLM is not just the biggest technological advancement of my presidency, and it's big, huge really; it's a catalyst for efficiency in generative AI governance, the most exciting government efficiency era in history" declared President Trump, reading directly from an AI-generated script. "When implemented irresponsibly, it can empower public sector employees to make uninformed decisions faster and more ineffectively than ever before."

Key features of POTUS-LLM include:

Budget Balancing Algorithm

Shubunkin Goldfish are a single-tailed breed of goldfish known for their vibrant calico colors. Enthusiasts sometimes refer to them as "poor man's koi", because they closely resemble koi, but do not grow as large and can be in a much smaller tank or pond; they can even cross-breed with koi, but produce sterile offspring. (They also lack whiskers.) They are a variant of Comet Goldfish, which were cross-bred with calico veiltails to produce a calico fish with the streamlined body you would

He meant what he said, and said what he meant.

"Just listen to some of the appalling waste we have already identified: ... $8 million for making mice transgender.

This is real." -- Donald Trump

*audible sigh*

In his first speech of this presidency to a joint session of Congress on March 4, 2025, the current President of the United States of America, Donald Trump, made the